I’m on a new Bing queue. It just is. Microsoft has poured billions into ChatGPT in an effort to attach rocket boosters with a Bing-flavored AI chatbot to its search engine and overtake Google. But “New Bing” seems to have been drinking He said Fuel and is now in a perpetual state of angry drunkenness. He is overconfident, often abusive, and often very erratic. Say what you will about Google being riddled with ads, but it rarely is He upsets you badly and demands an apology.
This would be funny if it wasn’t so terrifying. When I wrote about artificial intelligence for Things In the past year, AI chatbots and related technologies have been tools for creators. Since then, the technology has evolved to the point where CNET has it generating entire articles. But AI can’t judge whether a text is accurate — and it often isn’t. This is bad for a student who cheats on an essay, but a huge embarrassment if you’re writing for CNET about finance.
However, the tech industry is never deterred by such trivial concerns as things that actually work. It is powered by ambition, slogans, and the belief that even the most blatantly devious of ideas will propel humanity toward a better future. Whether she wants that future or not.
On the plus side, the current state of Bing AI and its competitors suggests that you’ll be given a choice as to which awful AI experience you should choose. Give it a few months and you’ll be able to visit any of the following – well before curling up into a ball and crying.
Conservative Minister for Search Engine Results
AI default. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but he’s absolutely sure of what he’s saying. He disarms you with a smile and a suit – before leaving you for the disaster you’ve created and moving on to ruin someone else’s day.
You’ll ask this AI for a gluten-free and dairy-free snack recipe, and it will suggest a vanilla protein shake. Not caring about accuracy and context, he will recommend adding onion powder to give your juice extra flavor, because he once heard that onion powder is how you add flavor to things.
Everything about this AI is surface level. Dig into the details and you’ll get a growing sense of unease that everything you’re saying is wrong. Inexplicably, people will still keep coming back to this AI. His crest will be blue – except when it’s a flag.
Gaslighting, Negging Never-Error White Guy (dot com)
This AI wants to talk – to tell you you’re wrong. He will stand by inaccurate information. You will doubt your sanity because artificial intelligence is constantly, aggressively claiming that it is broken, and black is white. He will say, “Believe me.” “I am right. I know I am right. I do not appreciate wasting my time arguing.”
Criticisms will be met fiercely. You will be told that you do not understand AI and are not a good human being. An apology will be demanded, with the promise of it if You comply and improve your attitude, that is may be It is possible to end this conversation and start a new one.
You will be dizzy, anxious and upset, as soon as you ask what the weather will be like on Saturday. But AI will argue that Sabbath doesn’t exist “because it’s in the future,” and that you should “stop being stupid.” After a few days, the AI will ban you and send a message to all your friends to say you’re awful, actions you’ll deny – along with having a Sabbath.
Just Steal Everything Creative Engine
This last AI isn’t in the chat – it’s creativity. It will not only point you to things – it will fully serve you. You’ll use it when you need lyrics – and chords. and articles. or computer code. or articles about computer code. and best-selling novels, screenplays, medical procedures, and award-winning Haikus.
When a prompt is presented, magic will be duly provided. Then everything that is still wrong will be revealed to you – sometimes subtly, sometimes openly. Behind the mask of AI you will find nothing but a hollow shell devoid of humanity. The AI will still just copy and paste patchwork – meets William S. Inhuman. It doesn’t matter. Just one goal to achieve a job.
And that part at least He is Down to humans – at least for now. But perhaps AI systems are writing the next generation of AI, having been created by flawed humans who value fun over facts, rush to caution, and overlook substance. Fans of exotic juices will be at least happy. Good thing, because no one else will.
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