Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nokia from 1999.
Ok now that the lame joke is out of the way, let’s get down to the formalities.
According to Nine News, a local MILF (I just assume tbh) found a Nokia 3210 that was found perfectly intact and covered in annoying arches that had washed up on Palm Beach.
I honestly can’t think of a better place to find an old phone than Australia’s Arts and Culture Center – Gold Coast. If you think I’m kidding about GC cultivation, I’m not. Where else can you find Bernard Tomic’s favorite club Sin City, Movie World, Meter Maids and of course the new BA big house?
The Nokia 3210 was released in 1999, the year many of you were just sperm. The phone was small and very durable, hence the nickname “brick phone”.
Now, all I have to do is breathe and my iPhone crashes. But back in the day, you could probably run over your Nokia and it would still be one piece. I bet this Nokia will probably still work if you put it in some rice.
Most importantly, this mother of all phones had a snake on it. Fuck Candy Crush. Fuck Flappy Bird. Fuck Fruit Ninja. Damn doodle jump. Fuck Jetpack Joyride. The python is absolute shit.
I was spending hours playing Snake on my mom’s phone that I had to get into the hospital. But I’m still with my opposing thumbs here, and I thank my lucky stars because I grew up in the time of the Snake and not all the children of Hell are doing these days. Maybe hack an elite company’s computers or something.
Anyway, all this talk about the Nokia brick phone is robbing me of my precious smartphone time. I need to post BeReal and make sure I don’t miss out on more Elon Musk/ Twitter Drama.